Apathy Games

A Story that shall live in Infamy

Last Friday I issued a challenge to call comers.  The result of which I would write about anything and relate it to gaming.  I’m going to keep the comments open for a week before closing them down.  So get in and send me whatever you got!

The Queen sat lightly on her throne. She was decked out in her finest royalty, covered in her crown jewels and the finest cloth. Looking down upon the adventurers in front of her she let out a small sigh and said, “Well, as we’re all here. Why don’t you tell me about yourself?” Her voice was posed and proper. Her posture fit of a queen; not even a hair out of place on her head.

“Well,” Grak the Dragon Rider said in all seriousness. “I like poop jokes.”

The group burst out laughing. We all eyed Brian who just busted that on us. Who sat there with a shit eating grin on his face. Paul, the GM, sat there with his palm planted firmly on his forehead giggling. After a while the group recovered and continued the game but the joke, and story, to this day, lives on.

Stories bring us together, but drama and jokes keep us hooked. Even jokes about poop still find there place into every game. Paul later told us that if he hadn’t been laughing so hard he would have killed Grak. It’s what the Queen would have done after all. Sometimes though, a well-placed one-liner is better than any saving throw.

What story lives on in your group after years of play? What are the celebratory moments of your games?

Take on all Comers

While writing Don’t Break the Chain I got to thinking of challenges I set for myself as a GM and as a writer. I find myself when writing blog posts to have the uncanny ability to write just about anything and somehow relate it to gaming.  I decided it’s time to level up my writing and creative thinking skills. So I issue this challenge:

Give me a topic, any topic, and I will then relate it to gaming and give you a blog post.

Now to issue a further challenge to myself I will try to focus on GM/Player advice. I will not take any shortcuts on any ideas and the post will make sense. I will write them in the order they have been received and it will dictate my posting schedule until this is done. For my sanity please include references to what your referring to so I can make sure I’m meeting the challenge. Please note these posts will not interrupt Savage Mondays or any special posts we currently have on schedule. You my dear viewers now control this mouth piece. Please, don’t be gentle.

Below will be the List. Every time I write a new post I’ll link to it here. Check back periodically to see my progress.

The Big List

• Your Mother is a Whore – Brian Williams
• Poop Jokes – Grak the Dragon Rider
• “Accepting Failure.” – Cole
• Robert’s Rules of Order – Will
• Ontology – Will
• Pokemon – Will
• Trees – Will
• Refinishing the dining room table to original spec. – kimberlyunger
• Mandelbrot Set – tehgeekmeister
• Diagnosing Your Pet’s Illness Through Inspection of its Fecal Matter – kinjikai
• Bob Uecker – kinjikai
• Statistics on divorce in the state of Wisconsin – kinjikai

What challenge can you issue yourself? Call everyone out and throw down the gauntlet. It’s time to see what your made of.

Don’t Break the Chain

Years ago I read an article at the amazing site Lifehacker called Jerry Seinfeld’s Productivity Secret. Simply put, when you start a project or goal you simply keep going at it as long and as hard as you can. His method involved getting a calendar and a red pen and marking an X every day he worked on his jokes. The goal, don’t break the chain. Do what you set out to do every day and don’t let anything stop you.

When we started the blog in November, I set out on a mission of not breaking the chain for any weekday. Monday through Friday of every week you’d heard from us. No matter how bad my grammar and spelling may be (and people have pointed it out to me), my words would be available to you. I think about gaming and what I can share with all of you every day (even the weekends) and work hard to get it out to you.

I’m not going to lie, blogging and game design is tough stuff. Personally I salute the fantastic Treasure Tables for having something up for every day of the week for two years. As we slowly march to our 100^th post and our six months of filling your brain with our nonsense, I know I have enough in me to beat his record. Some days are just going to be harder than others. Just don’t break the chain.

So I ask you, what can you do to not break the chain? Could your game be improved by a little time each day? Is there something you’ve always wanted to do and just never have? Learn a new language perhaps? Start your own business? I spend every day on mine to a greater or lesser extent. I couldn’t be happier. Ask yourself, what goal do I need to set? Then go.

Whatever you do, don’t break that chain.

Heroes with Fuzzy Morality

I’m currently reading The Belgariad and I keep finding myself comparing the characters to a party of PCs and finding the similarities striking. Most notably, our heroes have a rather blurry moral compass, and that seems to hold true for almost every roleplaying game I’ve ever been a part of.

Killing, lying, stealing, and intentionally intimidating people are only a handful of the tricks players tend to play on NPCs in order to save the world. Perhaps the ends do justify the means, and perhaps roleplaying is just an escapist fantasy, but if I were to meet most player characters in the real world, I’d run in terror.

Not that this is a bad thing. The truth is, it’s fun to play this way. While we may not want to play someone who is downright evil, there is a desire to throw out some of the constraints thrown on us by reality and play sort of a Fuzzy Good. In fact, I’m officially adding that to the Alignment system.

Saving the World, My Way

Fuzzy Good characters actually make sense in the “Save the World” type scenario. The goal is what matters, and a party who can bend the rules is far more likely to succeed. I’ve played games, like Slipstream, where you’re expected to play the strong jawed hero of thirties sci-fi, but to make that work, they keep having to be attacked by things like space pirates, and have the plot come to them. There really isn’t any problem solving in that style of game.

On the other hand, Necessary Evil replaces Fuzzy Good with Fuzzy Evil. There, you play super-villains who have to save the world after all the heroes have been captured and destroyed. The only rule is that your party should probably work together, making Necessary Evil, perhaps, the most sincere RPG ever made.

In parting, I’d like to know. Have you ever played a character that wasn’t Fuzzy Good? If so, how did it turn out?

Top Twenty Reasons Your Players Hate You

1. Rust monsters destroyed my epic magical items.
2. Rocks Fall [WARNING: TvTropes.org Link we are not responsible for the time suck that is about to occur].
3. Your NPC is more interesting then me.
4. NPC’s should not be able to out drink me.
5. Your dice don’t hate you / We can’t see what your rolling.
6. All your characters talk the same.
7. You’ve canceled the game.
8. Your wife/girlfriend is playing an albino vampire were-tiger, and I’m not.
9. You keep wanting to play an online game and can’t get the tools working (My GM has Gremlins).
10. My foot has been tied to a train.
11. Your toddler/cat keeps walking over the battle map.
12. You’ve turned this game into a drinking game and I can’t remember my character’s name.
13. Because I’m hungry, and you don’t live next to a Circle K.
14. The only beer you have in the fridge is Bud.
15. Hummus and Vegetables are no substitute for Cheetos and Mountain Dew, goddammit!
16. You made me sign a contract with the Infernals.
17. Uzi wielding Ninjas dropped from the ceiling.
18. Mirror of Opposition.  On the ceiling.
19. Zombies should not be your default.
20. Your idea of prep work is two hours of FreeCell.

What is your worst experience with a GM? Share it with us in the comments and continue our list!

That Kind of Courage

Dave Martin spends most of his time working on projects for Tabletop Armory or fulfilling the terms of his mercenary contracts. On the rare occasion he is not writing something, he could be watching TV with his wife or lurking somewhere in the World of Warcraft.

When Tyson and Jeff asked me to write an article about my experiences in the RPG industry and attempting to have my writing support me full time, I had to sit back for a moment to ponder what they were really asking for and, more importantly, what I actually could share. Starting up a game design studio like Tabletop Armory alongside attempting to establish a solid reputation as a freelance mercenary writer has at time seemed like a fool’s task. The truth is that I did not plan to be going about things in this fashion. As a newcomer to the professional side of the industry, I was not prepared for many opportunities I found to do work for several companies. None of my projects have yet made it to print, and pretty much all of them are still ongoing, in varied stages of the writing and developing process. The most public example of my (small) success thus far has been the online posting of my winning entry for the Fantasy Brewmasters Dwarven Brew Story Contest, which is now in revision and undergoing further development. So, what I unfortunately can’t share at the time of writing this article is my success as a published RPG writer. (Not just yet, anyway.)

Instead what I would like to talk about today is “courage.” I think that this key element is what is most essential for any venture to have a chance at success. There are, of course, other key factors or qualities like drive, writing ability, creativity, ability to be taught and to learn from others, and the all-important skill of taking constructive criticism and using it wisely. But those factors are either with you from the beginning or picked up along the way. Yes, I am telling you that good writing is a developed skill. Writers were not born great writers. Even the best writers have room to improve, and I will make no claim to be among the best of them just because I have seen a little success so far. But I want to get back to the key quality, courage.

With the exception of a few companies and personalities, the RPG industry is open, accessible, and glad to welcome new professional developers. This is the first point where courage enters the mix. Make a proposal, send an inquiry letter, or otherwise contact gaming companies to get a feel for what they may be looking to do in the near future in regards to freelance writers. Rejection is not to be feared at this point (or any point!) in the game, and make sure to spread the net wide by starting conversations or submitting several proposals to multiple companies.

You may have noticed I made a small leap there for a moment. I assumed that the readers of this article are at least in some way interested in how to get into the industry if they are not already. That, or I was sharing how I did it. It’s no big secret, really. I am a tenacious person by nature, and I jumped in with both feet. But that is exactly what I am talking about. Having the courage to say to a line developer, “Yeah, I’ve got some ideas about this,” or, “Oh, and maybe this rule should do this instead,” is for some people a stretch in the beginning. I tend to think that it was more just me not knowing my place, but the point is that I was never afraid to speak my mind to anyone who would listen or reply to an email.

Maybe freelance mercenary work is not for everybody. If that is the case but someone still wants to make a mark in the industry, one can always start up a game design studio. All of the previously mentioned qualities need to be present, and I think the courage factor can be higher here. It is going to be hard. Owning a business is about more than being able to give yourself a day off of work to play a video game. In fact, my video game playing has all but ceased since I starting working on Tabletop Armory full time. You work hardest for yourself, and if you don’t, you won’t succeed.

I know, several readers will have already picked up on the fact that I might consider myself a courageous person, and maybe that’s true. But I’m not viewing myself as a hero or in a narcissistic manner. It does take courage to do some of the things that I have already done, and that’s why I believe in sharing that fact. I would hate for an otherwise great game developer to miss out on being part of something amazing just because he or she was too timid to do anything about an opportunity.

Like my friends here at Apathy Games, I believe in what I am doing. And we and everyone before us have all been courageous enough at some point to step out and risk taking a hit for something we believe in. So, the secret to my success? What little of it I have I think needs to be attributed to courage. So far, that is about all the wisdom this new RPG industry professional can share.

Take Frequent Sabbaticals

Bill Watterson is often referenced for taking frequent sabbaticals from Calvin and Hobbes. He’s cited for taking some long breaks during his cartooning years to rest and gather his creativity. Currently Apathy Games is on a one week hiatus from game development to unwind from an intense run of developing and it got me thinking about Sabbaticals.

I take sabbaticals from gaming. I love playing in games and running them but occasionally I need a break. I take a month or two off from gaming and come back ready to go at it again. For me it’s been quite a while since I took a sabbatical and since starting the blog gaming has been on my mind all day every day. While I’m passionate about my hobby and love talking about it I need to be careful not to burn myself out. Weariness is why we have multiple authors and only post four times a week (Savage Mondays writes itself, let’s be honest). Most weeks are split between Jeff and I, with the occasional post from Paul. Hillary will eventually break her vow of silence and pull herself away from her sketch pad long enough to dictate a post then disappear into the ether. We pass the podium around so none of us get weary. If you’re getting weary from GMing try a different game, pass the GM duties off to another person to run the game for a bit, or take a sabbatical. Games are supposed to be fun, right?

While I’ve been talking about endings and sabbaticals please rest assured that Apathy Games is not going anywhere. We’ll be running a guest post from Dave Martin from Tabletop Armory tomorrow but rest assured we’ll be back on Friday. We’ll have a fist of beer in one hand and dice in the other giving the one, two punch of apathetic goodness.

Crystal and China on the Battlemap

Wife of our own Paul, Katharyn von Meerscheidt writes about crafts, books, health, marriage (and occasionally tea) at While the Tea is Steeping.

When I was a small child my parents had several friends who themselves had small children, and everyone would gather together at someone’s house. While the children ran amuck, the adults would laugh while playing backgammon or cribbage, watching their gin and tonics, and laughing more than scolding when a child would regrettably steal a sip.

As a teenager, the regular social gatherings had far fewer people, and the drink of choice was more likely tea than hard liquor. Occasionally, we might play a round of cribbage, but usually the time was spent simply chatting through dinner or talking over a movie.

Role playing is a social gathering with that same level of casual interaction among–what will ultimately be–an intimate group of friends. If your house is dirty when these people come over, you’ll feel guilty, though not enough to reschedule. You’ll debate and argue and laugh all in the same evening, talking about significantly more than just gaming. When your life hits a rough patch, these are people who will hear about it–and steady your step through it; when your life marks a triumph, these are the people who will celebrate that triumph with you.

So why are these people drinking the beverages they brought, eating the food they brought, using your low-end dishes? They deserve better. Gaming is nothing short of a social gathering, so be hospitable and take the opportunity to be a socialite.

Do you or someone in the group enjoy cooking? Make the main dish and ask your guests to bring sides, or make the full meal and ask them to chip in what they can to help pay for the food. Share your pipe tobacco and rent out your book and movie collections. Open the liquor cabinet and use the fine china; who else is special enough to share these things with if not your gaming group?

Gaming at my house brings out a china tea set and crystal scotch glasses, and it wouldn’t be gaming at my house without them.

Ya-ya!

A little Love for Gaming Magazines

I never subscribed to the print version of Dragon Magazine, and didn’t start paying attention to it until it when digital for 4e (and subsequently stopped reading it when I stopped playing 4e). I suppose I was too much of a single setting type guy. I’m big on setting canon and that sort of thing, and themags were too random. Or maybe I just didn’t have an effective source for them. Or maybe I was too poor.

Whatever the reason, I regret it now.

Until the end of the month, Kobold Quarterly is giving away issue #10 [As the offer is over they've removed the link]. I decided to pick it up on a whim, and pawing through it, I’ve come to realize the kind of things I’ve been missing. In these magazines, there’s room for some real creativity to flourish, because a new setting, local, monster, or adventure seed only has to support itself.

And then there are the articles. The depth of focus that a magazine provides is refreshing. It’s something we can’t really get away with on this blog. We can’t easily post an article that would take up six or seven pages in a three column format. Nobody wants to read that much text off a screen. Let’s face it. The internet is A.D.D. incarnate.

So now I’m hooked. Also, I have a number of ideas that I’ve struggled to put into post format. Perhaps I should be looking into these magazines. Though this gives me some thoughts for .pdf articles meant for printing. If you’d be interested in such a thing, let me know.

Zero Compromise Beer

Zero Compromise Roleplaying requires a Zero Compromise beer.

We here at Apathy Games find that there is only one beer that truly satisfies our requirements, and that beer is Arrogant Bastard Ale . A beer designed to offend and insult, it comes with a rambling tirade against the evils of wimpy yellow beer across the entire back of its 22.5 oz bottle, and a cap which proudly proclaims “You’re not worthy”; this is truly “one lacerative mother of a beer”.

Carrying a healthy 7.2% alcohol by volume and a rating on the International Bitterness scale so high it is classified, Arrogant Bastard Ale is truly the beer for people who know what they want, and will accept nothing less. For those of us at Apathy Games, this is a perfect match. Other beers flirt with our attentions, and may captivate our interest for short periods of time, but inevitably have words such as “blend”, “compromise”, or “balance” on their label. These terms indicate that the brewers were unwilling to really put themselves or their product out there. They were  willing to settle for second best.

The people at Stone Brewing are unwilling to make similar compromises, and so are we.